


Forbidden love

by Warlady



Series: Love conquers all [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 17:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20429804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warlady/pseuds/Warlady
Summary: Many Elves leave Middle Earth, to sail beyond the sea towards Valinor, eternal and blessed land of the Valar.But Lindir, steward of the house of Elrond, knows Valinor means for him the end of his relationship with his Lord and the beginning of an eternity of hell.He decides to stay, and face a future uncertain in a land void of Elven folk and full of dangers.





	Forbidden love

**Author's Note:**

> No beta. Please deal with me or give me a hand.

There is joy in their voices, yet there is sadness too. We are going to Valinor, and the songs of my folk announces the happiness that awaits the Eldar there, with the Valar; they tell too about the sorrow that we feel at leaving Imladris, our beautiful home. 

I know I should be with them, singing, rejoicing in the departure and saying my sad goodbyes to this ancestral place. But I am not a hypocrite, I do not desire the blissful life that has been promised to us, neither do I want to see the light of the blessed place beyond the sea. 

I just want to stay forever here, by my Lord Elrond’s side. I do not want other bliss than the euphoric pleasure I feel when he makes love to me, I do not wish to see other light than the soft gleam of his naked form in the darkness when we are together in throes of passion.

But all that is over, and the travel to Valinor only brings a bitter taste to my mouth and an agony that hurts as if my heart has been ripped from my chest. This morning I was summoned to Lord Elrond’s studio, and his words more than a farewell were a death sentence for my soul.

“Lindir, my loyal one, it is time for the first caravan to leave Imladris, and you will be among the Elves that leave this night. I do not need to mention I will go the last, with the parents of my wife. I was looking forward to go along with my daughter to be sure of her welfare, but given you and I had shared some intimate moments, it would not be proper to be seen together anymore. Besides, I trust you to escort Arwen through her path into the blessed lands. I only have a last word for you, my eternal gratitude for the time you spent with me, helping me to endure the coldness and loneliness of the night. I will finally be reunited with Celebrian, my proper wife, thus your valuable service will be not required anymore, I release you from the burden.” 

He handed me a medallion made of gold and rubies, it was attached to a rich chain made of gold as well. As if he could pay for the free will offer of my body for his pleasure with a trinket of metal and stones! After that he just dismissed me. 

Am I a whore? Maybe, because I feel as such. All these years, it was I who lay at his side, who shared the delight of physical love with him, who gave myself entirely. At the end, my love and devotion was rewarded with a cold piece of jewelry.

“As you wish, my Lord, thank you.” Have I other options? No, I am but a servant, and I am well aware of my position. I have a higher rank among the others, but he is still my Lord. 

Many warned me, my true friends, yet I paid no attention to their words. I love him, to the last fiber of my body and soul, and I just believed foolishly than when the time arrived he would let me at least be his occasional lover. 

True, most lords have wives, but it is not a secret that from time to time they search other companions, male or female, to share their beds. It seems Lord Elrond will not do it, not with me anyway. 

So, right now while I pack my belongings for the travel, I cry in silence. I bury the damn medallion in the confines of my luggage, I have no use for such finery, a token too luxurious for a simple steward. In the same place I put the pieces of my shattered heart as well as the remaining stained shreds of my dignity. Sighing I leave my old room and go straight to the stables, where the caravan waits for our departure.

*****

She spurs her horse and run away from the caravan, riding back to Imladris. 

I call her back, I cry her name, but she doesn’t turn around. I call a stop, a time idle to rest and wait for her return. 

As we camp I ponder what reason made her go away. 

Lady Arwen is in love with the ranger, Aragorn, the heir of Isildur. In one of those rare occasions, when my Lord shared with me more than his body, he told me he convinced his daughter to renounce such love. Elrond gave her words of prophecy about what awaited her if she joined her destiny with a mortal. Dark shadows of her future life after Aragorn’s demise. He confessed to me that he kept unspoken the bright parts of the prophecy, the happiness of their union, the upcoming of an heir, a son of Arwen and Aragorn.

My Lord Elrond is a wise Elf, but sometimes his own powers, heightened by one of the Rings, leads him to underestimate other’s abilities. Even his own daughter’s.

Only the closest to her, as I and other servants, are aware of her gift of foresight. Since she only used it rarely, probably Lord Elrond was oblivious of it. But surely Lady Arwen inherited it, not only from her Father, but from her Grandmother as well. Rings of power or not, the line of Earendil is an old lineage, and the White Lady of Lothlorien’s is one of the oldest; a descendant of both lines should have talents to foresee.

And that is what I saw reflected on her face right before her escape, as she had seen something. nobody else could. I only beheld something of the sort in her presence once, when she stayed looking into the waters of one of the many fountains of Imladris, her eyes unfocused lost in a view beyond present. I saw that too when her Father was watching the shadows of future, as he called it. 

So, she discovered his Father had said a half-truth to her and rides back to Imladris, she is going to confront him. It seems she’d rather live a short life with her beloved one, than face the eternity with a broken heart. I can not blame her, being my circumstances what they are. 

Waiting for her is useless, she is not coming back. 

Clear as the crystal I see that indeed I am free of my last task and responsibility with the house of Earendil and the words of my Lord echo inside my head  ‘ _ ** your valuable service will be not required anymore’ ** _ . I’m relieved of my servitude, inside my luggage is my last pay, gold and gems. Since Valinor means for me only doom, looking hopelessly my only love in the arms of another, why should I go with the others?

“I’m going after her, if I don’t return in the morning, leave.” I say, climbing in one of the horses that carry my belongings. 

Of course, I follow her for some time. Then I change my path, going deep into the forest, avoiding the usual Elven roads. I do not know where I am going, and to be honest I do not care. Arda is dangerous for a single Elf nowadays, but if I find an Orc or another foul creature in my way, I swear to the Valar I will not raise my sword to defend me. I will gladly embrace death.

TBC. 


End file.
